From: That Ye May Be Healed, January 8, 1998 (Edited & Reformatted July 4, 2006)
Early in the workday one spring morning in 1990, as the sun’s rays were beginning to stream warmly across the plant facilities, I had an open vision while I walked from my office to the Engineering Lab at the south end of the factory complex. Being quite troubled in my soul, I had been crying out to the Lord, asking Him to show me what was wrong in my life; asking why I no longer felt the joy of His presence. He responded by giving me a vision.
The vision began as I was about a couple hundred feet from the north guard shack at MacArthur Street, and it continued as I crossed the street and passed along a road, on through the loading area of a warehouse, and over a railroad track behind the warehouse. During the vision, the sight from my natural eyes faded and the images shown to me in the vision captured my full attention.
In the vision I was shown a sickly-looking bluish-gray creature hiding in the shadow cast by a great stone pillar. Around this slab-shaped pillar and outside its shadow there was a most wonderful light from which this cowering creature was hiding. To my astonishment, I soon realized that I was that creature! And when I wondered about the many sores and pock marks which covered my spirit, I had an immediate recollection of what had caused each of them. I also knew that the brilliance of the light from which I was hiding would sear my diseased soul if I were to venture into it without a covering.
As I looked on in silence, stunned by my pathetic state of being, two individuals dressed in clean white robes appeared just outside the shadowy region in which I hid, offering me a basket of what appeared to be bread or a fruit-like food. Somehow I knew it was the light-filled love of God. But to my further astonishment, I rejected them and the gift of love they had brought for me. After looking up to the Lord for direction, they left the basket of food in the light just outside the shadow. I still would not come into the light to partake of it.
“Why?” I wondered, “Why was I like that?” I knew very well why. I was a sinner, one who had come to enjoy his sins. In some warped way, the sinful thoughts which had invaded my mind had somehow come to mean more to me than the love of God. Jesus described this very thing to Nicodemus:
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil. For everyone who doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he who loveth truth, cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest. And he who obeyeth the truth, the works which he doeth they are of God. (John 3:19-22)
After reading the Book of Mormon that summer after I graduated from high school, my favorite hymn had been “Walk in the Light” by Bernard Barton. Now the message of its lyrics held no appeal to me, only a sad reminder that I had strayed from the Light.[1] Why had I let this marvelous desire for righteousness slip away? And for what had I given it up? All that I had left from the lustful thoughts I had allowed myself to indulge in were the sores they had left etched into my soul. Oh, how foolish I had been.
As a result of this experience, I longed more than ever to be someone who loved the Light, to come to Christ and partake of His love in righteousness according to the plea of Amaleki:
And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of His redemption. (Omni 1:46)
As I shared previously,[2] the Lord provided the means for this to be accomplished in my life.[3] He can do the same for you, if you are willing to give away all your sins through His name and receive, with thanksgiving, His Spirit of truth in their place. And if you do, He will fill you with the solemnities of eternity, the peaceable things of immortal glory through the visitation of the Comforter.[4]
[3] I John 1:3-10 continuing on to I John 2:1-3
[4] cf. Genesis 6:57-65 with Moroni 8:29